It recently dawned on me that in a little over 3 months, I turn 21. I mean most days it’s hard enough to just comprehend that I am 20, let alone turning 21. Just the sound of it somehow doesn’t seem right to me nor has it completely clicked with me yet. In fact, it is weird how quickly times moving forward as each day passes by.
One thing I know for sure though, is that in such a short period of time I have been through, and faced so much, as well as having what I consider to be some extremely crucial and life defining moments which have helped craft me into the person I am right now.
Although at the time I felt completely beaten by them, I am so grateful for those moments. Each weary step backwards later lead to five giant leaps forward, or at least, that’s how it feels now looking back.
So in light of this, I wanted to share with you the lessons I wish I’d have known previously and hopefully help some people who are in the position I was once in.
Here we go:
1) YOU HAVE TO FIGHT PAST ADVERSITY!
One of the main things I have had to really come to grips with, over the last few years especially, is that anything you want, you can’t leave it to chance, you have to really fight for it, even if seems difficult and so far away.
It’s never going to be plain sailing and if I am honest, I am so glad it isn’t!
For example, when I was job searching. During the entire process, I was still struggling with anxiety. It was truly prevalent and there were times when I just wanted to fully give up. I felt stuck and like a failure.
I remember sending out application after application and even though I was getting interviews, I let myself down quite often.
Then…reality hit. It may be tough, but if I didn’t push through I would never move forward.
So that’s just what I did. I made a bold move, sent out an email to a company in the local area and to my surprise got a reply almost instantly, and had the interview the very same day.
Imagine if I had just done that from day one! Oh well. I got there in the end!
2) LIFE WILL THROW SOME INTERESTING CURVE BALLS
It doesn’t matter what you do, where you go, or what plans you think you have, life will find a way to throw something your way which may either help, or be an initial hindrance to you, making you feel truly defeated at times, that is…if you let it!
There were moments in the past when I thought things were heading in a certain direction, but without notice were diverted, throwing me completely off course, so what I originally assumed to be a sure thing, ended up on a completely different path.
Although, yes, this could sometimes be for the better, it never stopped that flurry of confusion and fear creeping up and taking over the thoughts within my mind. I never did know how to handle change, but that’s just the thing, whether we like it or not, just like the song says, change is going to come, we just have to learn to deal with it.
3) IT’S OK NOT TO BE LIKED BY EVERYONE!
This one in particular has always been such a HUGE issue for me.
Growing up, I always had this want to get on with everyone and for people to want the same with me, but unfortunately it never ended up being the case and the more I began to realise, the more it messed with my head.
It made me anxious and overly self conscious, to the point that I would fall in tears each and every time. I would constantly worry that there was something seriously wrong with me and that I had to change who I was in order to be liked by my peers.
I had fully convinced myself that I was the problem. What I hadn’t considered is that maybe I didn’t actually need their validation.Why did I value it so much anyway?
Over time I have had to teach myself that I am good enough and that if people don’t like me, that is completely fine, they don’t have too. I’m going to be me regardless!
So there you go. Three lessons I am thankful for learning. It was nerve wracking writing this, but hope my story helps you.